About the Fisher Divorce Seminar

Outline and Overview of the Ten-Session “Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends” Seminar

The following is an overview of the ten sessions of the seminar and the topics to be discussed in each session. The reading assignments listed are chapters in the book Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, fourth edition, by Drs. Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti. Notice that some of the chapters in the textbook are not covered in any of the ten sessions. We have identified the topics which are typically the most important and challenging and we believe you will benefit the most by covering them during the seminar. If you have the time and energy you will find it helpful to read the chapters in the textbook which are not emphasized in the ten weeks. We encourage you to keep meeting as a group, discussing each of the remaining chapters after the ten week seminar is completed.

Session 1, The Rebuilding Blocks – Chapter 1.
The rebuilding blocks give you an overview of the adjustment process used in this seminar to help you make your crisis into a creative experience.

Session 2, Adaptation – “But It Worked When I Was a Kid.” Chapter 4.
You may have learned and developed adaptive behavior during your formative years in order to get your needs met. This adaptive behavior may become maladaptive behavior in your adult relationships. You may find it helpful to develop more authentic behavior.

Session 3, Grief – “There’s This Terrible Feeling of Loss.” Chapter 8.
An important aspect of ending a love relationship is grieving your various losses of love. There is a connection between overcoming denial, grieving, and disentangling from the former love partner.

Session 4, Anger – “Damn the S.O.B.!” Chapter 9.
Ending a love relationship results in feelings of anger. Resolving this anger allows you to find forgiveness for yourself and for your former love partner. It is important to deal with your angry feelings because they can last for months and maybe years after the physical separation.

Session 5, Self-worth – “Maybe I’m Not So Bad After All.” Chapter 11.
The previous sessions have helped you work through your painful feelings. Improving your feelings of self worth will help you move beyond pain and find the strength to grow.

Session 6, Transition – “I’m Waking Up and Putting Away My Leftovers.” Chapter 12.
After improving your self worth, you are emotionally stronger and ready to experience personal growth. You are ready to wake up and begin taking charge of your life.

Session 7, Openness -“I’ve Been Hiding Behind A Mask.” Chapter 13.
You have been using a great deal of emotional energy trying to be someone other than who really you are. You may choose to be free to be you.

Session 8, Love – “Could Somebody Really Care for Me?” Chapter 14.
It is okay to love yourself. The more you love yourself, the more authentically you can love others.

Session 9, Relatedness – “Growing Relationships Help Me Rebuild.” Chapter 16.
The relationships that develop following the ending of an important relationship can be an important part of your growing process. You may find the friendships you make in this class help you to grow and adjust.

Session 10, Sexuality – “I’m Interested, but I’m Scared.” Chapter 17.
You long for emotional intimacy but you’re afraid. Intimacy starts with becoming better acquainted and more intimate with yourself. Understanding your own sexuality, and learning more about the way others feel will be very helpful.